I have had people ask me when I really felt like a mom.
It wasn't at the hospital when I had her, not when we first held her or when we brought her home. Really, most of it seemed just kind of surreal. Of course I loved her instantly, but most of those moments are not the ones that got me. I think I can pin it down to three instances that really made me feel like a mom. Not just, "holy geeze, I am a mom", I guess I have thought that a lot but...times that make me feel the way I imagine my mom feels about me. Instances that make me feel I am not too inferior to join the ranks of motherhood with the likes of my own mother. Times where I know she knows I am her mom, and I love her.
One: The first time Jocelyn saw me come in to pick her up from the baby sitter and squealed with delight at the fact I was there.
Two: When she was sick with and crying because she had no idea why she hurt so much, and discovering I was crying too because I could do nothing to take her pain away and it hurt.
Three: Every time she crawls up to me, crying or happy and tugs on my pant leg for me to hold her. Not because she wants to be held, but because I am her mom.
Me. I am a mom. How crazy is that? I love her. And I love bing a mom.
It's Enough
11 years ago
1 comment:
Awwww ... I love this. I think the realization just gets stronger and stronger with each passing year. I just had a moment like that today. I let William get his own ranch on his plate. Strange one, I know, but it is just crazy to think that this little guy has grown and developed and is becoming more and more independent all under my watch. Love it.
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